Dearest Tumblr,

It’s been a while since I posted but I just need to de-stress by airing my thoughts for the world to see. 

First and foremost, college is so hard. Period. I never thought the day would come where I feel like I have to aspire to mediocrity but I work my ass off every day just to be average here. It bothers me so much I can’t even sleep sometimes, but fuck I need to let go of this Asian ass mindset of always having to be the best.

I should be studying instead of being on tumblr at 1 in the morning, but instead I’m going to spend this friday morning staying up and watching scary movies. 

I’m ridiculously excited to go home this weekend for once. I’ve been almost avoiding home because I always feel like I should be studying or living life here. I’ve gotten so comfortable, but I find that the more stressed out I get, the more I miss the little comforts of home like my own bed that’s not 2 inches from the ceiling.

Guys suck, they just do. Even though everything is going as planned miraculously in my life, I can’t say that I’m exactly happy, I’m just me. 

I want to bitch and gripe about how I’m sad and lonely and nostalgic but to be frank,  leaving to school is still the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel free and yet responsible, lonely and yet strangely at peace from not being judged and just being another body. Life is simple, life is pure here though nothing is longer simple and I am anything but pure. Everything seems to be a contradiction to itself but its the fact that it is, the fact that everything is new and amazingly sharp in my mind.

I cannot describe how I feel in least; I just needed someone to listen. 

8 months ago  /  0 notes

Life List: 4/17-4/22

- Buy Linda’s and Leena’s birthday presents

-Finish poetry journal on time

-Actually read AP prep books

-Work on song

-Make a legitimate adult decision about what to do for college

-Start running again

-make time for friends/boy

-Clean clean clean

-Get Ren Faire stuff

-Don’t be stressed out and smile 

For some reason I feel that in list form, life just seems more do-able xD

1 year ago  /  1 note

I know I don’t know you, but I want you so bad…

Feeling very friday-esque for some reason. Maybe its the random listening to Songs about Jane… forgot how amazing Maroon 5 is.

I don’t get how it seems like the longer I sleep, the more tired I am by the next night. What to do, what to do when an insomniac starts losing those precious hours of not sleeping? I feel like the time literally disappears!

But anyway, made the senior panorama shirts today for the girls, hope they like them! So stressed out about school, AP exams, college, prom, and just making the most out of the month and a half we have left. Where did all the time go? I remember being a sophomore thinking OH GOD there are so many years of school left!

Feeling busy, but good because I know life is only going to get better from here! =)

1 year ago  /  1 note

3 Day Weekend Baby…

Thursday:

Drinks w/ Ramiro

      - good catch up session!

Friday:

Play date w/ Leena

     - I love how she is late to like everything haha

Saturday:

Source Code @ Santana Row w/ the boy

    - Movie was alright, but he makes me smile =)

Sushi w/ J

   - no me gusta tokyo sushi =(

Sunday:

Extra long run

  - its supposed to somehow make up for going out to eat way too much lately xD

MESA Meeting

   - Finished the paper and excited for regionals!

Now time to do my stupid DJ!

Love the weather, love the people, love the productivity… good weekend =D

1 year ago  /  1 note